How quaint the ways of paradox Chapter 31

How Quaint the Ways of Paradox

Part 3: The more things change

Chapter 31

"How quaint the ways of paradox; At common sense she gaily mocks"

(Gilbert and Sullivan. Pirates of Penzance)

Phoebe after leaving numerous messages on Cole’s cell and getting no response finally accepted that Cole after shimmering away from the Manor in a snit after the last argument, must have worked his way into a full scale sulk.

Phoebe spending a day writing solutions to other people’s relationship and family problems, found time to consider her own and came to a conclusion. Having a lover who cared for her more than life itself, a lover whose greatest happiness was to see her happy, a lover who was as romantic as he was protective, having a lover who would put up with almost anything to be with her, was a culmination of every dream she had ever had, was a gift as precious as it was incredible.

Living with a hundred and twenty year old ex-demon who had no understanding of human relationships and family was not only difficult, it was bloody annoying. And as he was going to be so freaked he would never come to her, she would have to go to him, again.

Phoebe walked past the receptionist at Cole’s office with her head in the air ignoring, the sly looks. She walked up to his office which was unlocked and opened the door and stopped cold as she saw Francesca working away.

She stood there surprised and not quite knowing what to say. Finally she settled for asking a little more aggressively than she intended “What are you doing here Mrs.. Francesca. ?“

“In court “Phoebe screeched “that, that, that .. Do you know how worried sick I’ve been about that bastard.. that , that, that.. that man?“ she finished angrily.

“Dear surely you weren’t worried, you didn’t think he was going to run back and say No“ Francesca said concerned for Phoebe.

“No of course not“ Phoebe said “Well I was concerned when you first told him, on Friday when he came back, when he came home, that he was going to decide something .. bad but when we were wandering about Venice.” Phoebe allowed a small smile“ he ..I know he made the decision to face it.”

“He gave me a few bad moments but“ she looked at Francesca’s smile “He isn’t that gutless. If the answer was no he would have gone straight to Arturo and dared him, or told him to do it. He’s just dragging it out now“ Phoebe said.

“I swear to god I’ll live to be a hundred just so I can make sure I make his life hell for the next 70 years, just to make him… atone for this week“ Phoebe declared angrily.

“Please do“ Francesca said “He scared the daylights out of me for a few seconds the other day when Arturo told him of his choices and Cole got into a snit and said he did not want to be a Guardian.”

“OMG“ said Phoebe “Did Arturo realise, I mean did he understand that Cole just likes to push, Cole just can’t stop being… an arsehole.” Phoebe finished lamely.

“Arturo’s been around along time dear“ Francesca said “He worked it out after a second or two. I told Cole to stop trying to be annoying and go and make some sensible decisions.”

“No“ Francesca said “He’s enjoying himself making everybody wait on his convenience, and fretting himself up into a state of total despair.”

“Actually“ Phoebe said “I think I’ll find a way to be around for a thousand years, a hundred doesn’t seem enough to make his life really hell.”

Francesca laughed “Well if you ever want any advice on making his life hell call me anytime dear. I’m only to happy to oblige.”

Phoebe giggled. Then she stepped forward and hugged Francesca “Thank you“ she said.

“Can you orb me there so I an see him somewhere where he’ll be .. well not quite demonic“ Phoebe asked.

She orbed Phoebe to the court house. They arrived in a corner where no one noticed their arrival and then Phoebe and Francesca quietly opened the door to the court where Cole was working and slipped in. There was not a huge number of people in the room because they had not reached the stage of jury yet and the case was not one of interest to the press. Cole and presumably his client, a female in prison clothes were standing as was the DA at the opposite table as the judge stood up to leave. The court officials came up and started to handcuff the girl beside Cole.

Phoebe remembered Cole talking about her. She was 19 but a tall girl, a very big girl. Funny how you always thought hookers would be slender elegant even attractive. Cole said one of the problems he was going to have was convincing the jury that a large girl over 6 foot could be in danger from her pimp, a slight man nearly 6 inches shorter than her. The girl had straw coloured dyed hair and as the court officials tried to lead her away, she turned on Cole and let fly with an earful, language that effectively described what she thought of him and his chances of sharing any sort of relationship with a women.

Phoebe could almost feel the smile on his face. The court bailiffs led the girl away and Cole sighing turned away and for the first time noticed Phoebe standing beside Francesca. For a split second his face showed everything he felt for her but he was distracted by a woman in her forties, immaculately dressed and groomed, clutching the arm of an equally well dressed man .

“She wasn’t brought up like that Mr Turner. Cole“ the woman said “She used to know better.”

“The language“ he smiled even, if it did not quite reach his eyes “I’ve heard worse, or at least just as bad, very recently actually“ he smiled. “It’s not a problem. In fact I learned to understand what fragile souls it hides“ and he glanced unable to help himself at Phoebe.

“Yes“ said Cole “Bad as gaol is, she’ll run if you try bail and that won’t help her or you." Cole took a deep breath "Just at the moment you’re not up to helping her“ he said as gently as he could.

The man shook his head and from the angle Phoebe could see the tears on his face.

“We tried Mr.. Cole“ the man said “but you make your mistakes you see. You do your best but they go their own way, and you wonder what you could have done so they did not make their mistakes, did not do something stupid, fail, .. “his voice tailed off and the tears started to fall.

Cole distracting himself from Phoebe again said “You can’t do anything Jack Trust me on this because I’ve had a lot of opportunity to see it, lately particularly. Sometime its the mistakes that make us, that make them, the best of what they are. At the time, it seems stupid, irrational, erratic, “ he stopped for a second, “irresponsible and yet in the end its the best choice they, we, can make, the one that leads them, us, to truth of who we are. Look “he said “I’m not saying that killing that bastard was smart or wise. If she asked me whether she should do it, I would tell her no of course not but sometimes what looks like the worst choices are the ones that end up leading us where we need to go. I’ve seen it, I’ve seen lately some seemingly very bad choices lead to the best of some one“ and his eyes met Phoebe’s. She smiled at him a little watery.

The woman nodded. Almost instinctively she reached to touch Cole’s hand. “You have no idea what it means to us to find a lawyer who really will stand by Jenny" she said "One who willl understand what it means to help her. Who understands what she is and doesn’t judge her or us.”

“I know your law firm really did not want to touch Jenny’s case“ the woman said, “but she’s our daughter Mr Turner.. Cole , we have to stand by her, and to know you are there to stand by her.” The woman turned away embarrassed.

The man tried getting hold of his emotions tried to be matter of fact. “ Is it possible“ he said “that the judge might accept self defence at the end this next week?“

Cole shook his head, all lawyer and business, not a Guardian in sight “No“ he said carefully. “This is going to be a long case. I believe in the end we’ll do what’s best for Jenny and that includes not getting her put away for life for murder but I think you need to accept that its going to be a long haul, that its going to take a very long time and their will be some very bad moments.”

“But you’ll be there Mr Turner“ the woman said tears falling down her face

The man asked “You will?“ and his eyes watered “If you’re not Jenny’s chances….“ he choked on the words. “No matter how long it takes.”

As the realisation hit him, Cole froze, he gasped and shut his eyes and opened them and looked around. He realised he was in the same court room where it all started between him and Phoebe. He glanced toward Phoebe and Francesca standing a few feet away. He regarded Jenny’s devastated and distraught parents and he smiled gently as he said “I’ll be there as long as you need me. I promise.”

A few more words and Jenny’s parents left the courtroom. Cole froze and Phoebe tried to move toward her but Francesca stopped her. Cole sat down at the table he had used in the court case. He brought his fist down on the table.

“Shit“ he screamed. “Shit, shit, shit“ he roared bringing his fist down on the table 3 times. He stopped for a second and vaguely heard Phoebe’s whispered Cole

“Shit“ he yelled again and then his voice fell to a whisper “Shit“ he said.

He looked at Francesca and she smiled sardonically “I don’t give a damn what you want Cole“ she said. “But I think your choice is the one that is right.”

Phoebe and Francesca watched him “You know I wanted to say no“ he said “I wanted it so badly. I so do not want to do this. Phoebe“ he said “In Venice. Before we talked I decided it was going to be no. I really did and I meant it. So easy to go, to be free. One sweet goodbye and Phoebe you were free of all the ..problems I cause you and I would be too. Damn it“ he yelled “Shit.”

“Only“ he said lowering his eyes and looking up again “I wouldn’t be free would I. I owe, I owe. Belthezor’s debt must be paid, and if its not me some one perhaps someone I care about inherits Belthezor’s debt. The only way I can be free is to pay it. Dammit“ he said softly putting his head down between the arms, resting on the table.

Phoebe gasped a little then she walked up and kneeling beside him put her arms around him. After a few moments Cole looked up dry eyed, pale “Happy now?“ he said to bitterly to Francesca.

“Cole“ Francesca said quietly “I’m not saying you aren’t right ..to fear a very hard road because you are and I wish for your sake it was not the case but“ she said “And I say this as some one who has never let you back off from one thing you’re responsible for.”

“You are only responsible for the sins of Belthezor, not for Evil, not the Brotherhood, not even the Old Source. " Francesca said. “Especially the Old Source. You were reckless and let the Source take you over and you had some legacy there but that’s it, its over. You are only responsible for Belthezor.”

“Do you understand me“ Francesca asked. Cole nodded and glanced at Phoebe who was nearly as pale as he was, her eyes like saucers in her face, bright sharing.

A few minutes later Cole stood up. He towered over Phoebe and she knew he would be all right. She should have been happy but the long emotional week suddenly caught up with her when she realised he was safe. She waited for him to reach for her but he stood there uncertain, suddenly remembering the last time he had seen her. And what his calling could cost them.

“If you knew the answer, if you made a choice“ she snapped hurt, “ Why didn’t you tell me?“

“Because it was my choice not yours“ he said. “And I don’t want to do it. I really don’t want to do it. And I wanted every moment.”

“It affects me" she said. "It affects us. I’m not losing you.” she said angrily. “You’re not that lucky.”.

“Phoebe“ Cole said “You’re a Charmed One and you think The Elders and all the Power of Good who rule your life “ and Cole glanced toward Francesca, which Phoebe did not miss ”You think they are going to let you anywhere near me. Hell what did they threaten you with when Piper and Leo wanted to be together”

“Hell if they are prepared to ruin Piper over a whitelighter what the hell do you think they would do over a power they regard as little better than a reincarnation of evil? Why do I know that“ he said suddenly distracted to Francesca.

“Spirit winds“ she said smiling “You’ll feel everything you need on them. More than you want to” she answered as relief came to her that the choice was made.

“I don’t give a stuff about them“ Phoebe declared “and…well what can they do to you“ she demanded.

“Phoebe “ he said slowly ‘I can’t do that. I can’t fight or hurt the powers of Good to be with a witch. God I couldn’t even fight evil for a demon.” He stopped cold and said to Francesca “ this is bad. I can feel, everything. It’s getting worse by the minute. This is. I hate this. Phoebe“ he looked at her “I can feel the balance going around just at the thought, just at the idea.” Cole stopped “This feeling. This.. This sucks“ he said helplessly to Francesca.

They just stared at her. “If they were nearly reduced to some very foolish acts in the cause of righteous wrath when Janko who was just a seeker crossed two hundred and fifty years ago, well you can understand the um .. consternation at Belthezor, who has some connections to , some fairly high levels of demondom she smiled. They would be um they would …“

“Just about that dear“ said Francesca. Cole was just staring at her. “Well I’m not going to tell then“ Francesca said “and Arturo isn’t , and Proctor and Therold .”

“Two of the other Guardians" she said “well they won’t tell either. We have time on our side she said and we need it. Sometimes you have to be wise in managing these ones, the Powers of Good" she said "Their hearts are worthy but …they are not always wise“ She added with a voice of ages. “You didn’t hear that dear "she said forcefully to Phoebe.

“They’re children Phoebe“ she said “Cole can’t fight them for you and can’t fight them to protect himself“ she said “Better they don’t know about him. Most of them don’t have any real understanding of the ways of the Guardians. “

Cole shut his eyes and could feel the spirit winds. It scared the hell out of him. Nervously he said. "What about the fifth Guardian, they’ll worry“ Cole said “Not knowing will cause some agitation, some consternation.”

Francesca suddenly laughed, golden, the laugh of an angel. “All right “she said. “Stuff ’em. They behave like brats, they get treated like brats. Let ‘em worry” Francesca had been living under the influence of demons, ex demons for a very long time. ‘“But better they don’t know on about you for quite some time“ she said to Cole. “All the Guardians need to hide their powers from both Good and Evil in time folds and safe places. A house on a magic nexus where they can’t scry or locate the power by magic is a ..good place.”

“Because“ Francesca said primly “the um affairs of Guardians were not the concern of some one who ….wasn’t a Guardian.”

“All right“ she said relenting “it had to be a real choice, you had to choose to be a Guardian, not to be with Phoebe.”

“What in the hell is the difference?“ Cole snapped losing it under the strain of the last few days. “Anyway. As far as I can tell we aren’t together any more.”

“I seem to recall“ Cole said “that I was told pretty effectively to get out of your life.”

“As in get out of here“ Cole said “As in you traitorous shit. I’m pissed at you. Don’t touch me. Get out of our lives.”

““I didn’t notice you doing very much to contradict her“ Cole said icy cold.

“You arsehole“ she screamed at him “After what you put me through the last few days.”

“Of course you are“ Phoebe yelled at him “You gave Tempus the Grimoire.”

“It was necessary“ Cole said primly ignoring Francesca’s raised eyebrows as both remembered what she had to do to get him to do it.

“You must understand Phoebe“ Francesca said smiling sardonically. "The affairs of the Guardians are of no interest to witches. You need to remember that.“

Phoebe caught the smile “I know“ she said gulping. Then she spun on Cole. “ I know you’re traitorous shit, its just you’re not an evil traitorous shit are you.”

Softly she said “Only I didn’t say the condition was you not being an arsehole. I said the only condition was you not being evil, so I guess we are together.”

“I said stuff you“ he replied. “Why is it always you. Your decision your choice, your rules. I get half of this too you know. My condition is just once you can cross the line for me. Just once you can bloody well trust me without proof. Yeah great for me you want to say its about me not being evil. Well just once don’t hold me to account. No matter what I do.” The two stood staring at each other, bodies arched toward each other rigid with anger.

“Stuff you“ Phoebe said “Just stuff you. I take it back. I’ve never made a promise to you I haven’t kept. I never make promise to you I can’t keep, but I’m taking that one back. It isn’t conditional about you being evil. It’s conditional on you not being an arsehole. And you are one. So its over.”

She stood up hands on her hips. “I hate you“ she screamed at him. “I hate you get out of my life. Just get the hell out of my life will you.”

And she turned and ran from the court room, leaving Cole and Francesca watching her go.

Francesca looked at the mass of papers Cole had left on the table and slowly started to pack them, into his briefcase.

“Then again" She said out loud “Elders and Powers of Good haven’t got a monopoly on behaving like brats.“