Shape of Things to come

Shape of Things to Come

Part 3:Seeds of Time

Chapter 30

‘All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts'
...William Shakespeare. As You Like It

With all the tensions in the family, it was of no surprise that sooner than later they showed themselves as outright conflict. As Phoebe said to Paige, in fact it would have been a surprise if they had not.

When the first big ‘row’ happened, no one was in the least surprised that it was between Piper and Melinda. The charmed sisters had been very proud of Melinda’s involvement in the battle but were being careful not to make a ‘big deal’ out of her participation, treating it as normal. Normal however meant Melinda testing Piper and Piper reacting with worry and determination to protect her daughter. Paige had been observing her niece with concern since Mark had coopted her niece into helping after the fight at the university. Her concern was not just as an aunt but as a witch/whitelighter who had considerable experience guiding young witches through their initiation into magic. Therefore, Paige merely sighed when she heard Piper being very terse with Melinda. She was surprised however, when Cole who was the usual co-between Piper and Melinda told her he thought this was witch business and she had best referee.

“You. Are. Not. Going. Out.” Piper was snapping clearly and distinctly. “I don’t care how much you want to go out, I don’t care what your friends think of you. I don’t care if they think your mother is the biggest bitch in the history of the world. Do you understand me?”

“I don’t give a stuff what you say” Melinda bit out her hands on her hips, her face red and bitter. “I was sensible, I helped you. I helped Mark and all you want to do is say ‘You’re so young Melinda. Its too dangerous Melinda. You have all these powers Melinda but no you’re not going OUT. What do you expect me to do? Stay locked in my room forever. Just hang around here and wait for you to die.”

“You go orbing yourself around, you go out and use orbing power it won’t be me who dies.” Piper told her tersely. “You need to understand it will be you. To many witches have died in this family from ...things they do not need to die from. Well, it won’t be you.”

“You just judge everybody by what you can do. You think everybody is as weak as you” Melinda yelled “Well not everybody is that weak, hardly anybody is that weak. Just because you can’t stop a …..fucking darklighter. I can. I can swipe it into oblivion.”

“Well, you’re fifteen and you’re not going to” Piper roared. “Do you understand that? You’re not going into battle. You’re not killing things and you. are. not. going. out.”

“You’re jealous because I’m more magical than you” Melinda screamed. “You’re jealous because I’m more powerful than you.”

“I am not jealous of your power.” Piper insisted. “You think you’re invincible. Well young lady you are not. Let me tell you.”

“Yeah” snarled Melinda. “Aunt Prue was this powerful witch and she died, and Grandma Patty died. Well maybe they died to get away from you” she roared angrily. “I bet you just want to bind my powers make me weak and…im…impotent ..”

“If I could bind them I would” Piper answered slowly. “But … your aunts tell me it won’t protect you. They tell me magic would find you anyway, so you know what. I can’t take your magic away but I can bloody well stop you using it and keep you alive. Don’t you understand that we’re not talking about a trip to the bloody zoo or sneaking out at night, we’re talking about life and death here.”

“Ha” snapped Melinda “Aunt Phoebe tells me Great Grandma Penny didn’t get killed by magic. She died of a heart attack just like any ordinary mortal.”

“And your great aunt Philippa was killed by a demon when she was not much older than you.” Piper insisted. “It’s a dangerous world for a witch. And not just magic that is dangerous but mortals too.”

“They can do other things if you get caught using magic in public. Exposing it. They can make your life not worth living. They can hound you from home...from San Francisco. Isolate you. It’s a dangerous, dangerous world.” Piper insisted.

Piper sucked her lips. “Melinda I don’t want to frighten you but there is a long history of Warren witches being … unwise. And paying hard for it.”

“Yeah sure” snarled Melinda. “Like you’re suffering. First time in … decades family is rich. You got the love of your life, although I don’t know why you would want such a wimp as Dad. Aunt Phoebe’s a famous writer and she gets tons of money and she got Uncle Cole.”

“No you wish me to be a fucking magic eunuch” Melinda screamed. She finally threw her hands in the air angrily sending orbs flying and then send streams of orbs at the figurines on the shelf and they explode in a satisfactory blast and then she burst into tears and ran from the room.

Piper lifted her hands and let them fall then turned around to see Paige standing behind her a very dark expression on her face.

“Go on tell me I should have kept my mouth shut, not told her the truth” Piper yelled.

“Maybe she’s a little young for all the truth about dying and magic” Paige suggested slowly as Piper absolutely glared at her. “But you know we don’t always get the choices about when we hear the truth. And however bad, hearing the truth is its much better than lying.”

“Lying would be betraying her” Paige explained “And you love her too much to do that, and, being angry when you said it… well you can’t help being you, but what she’ll be telling future Warren witches is maybe a truth that her mother told her. Something Grams and Mom did not really do for us.”

“Well, she might say she was glad I told her the truth if she lives so long” Piper accepted ruefully. She looked at Paige questioningly. “You really think Grams...betrayed us, even Mom.”

“Well Mom tried to fix it. But yeah I do” Paige replied slowly. “Often think about it. You know sometimes when I hear, when I talk to young witches and see how angry they are about their heritage… when they realise what it means and how they don’t really get a choice. Except they do because we talk about it.” She swallowed “I kinda think that Grams took the choice away from you. And I kinda think she took away your chances to be prepared for it” Paige smiled ruefully. “Not saying Prue would have been any different though, if she had done a long apprenticeship with Grams or other witches.”

“Prue was pretty…” agreed Piper. She swallowed awkwardly. “We didn’t give you a choice did we? Phoebe and I. We needed you and well kinda forced it on you.”

“Yeah” Paige acknowledged “and I’m not regretting it but I… I made mistakes. Maybe it was written it went like it did. Only I wish could have been written less painfully. But I think Grams … made it bloody hard for you. Binding your powers like that. Because I don’t think…it was in your best interests.”

Paige smiled back sadly “I think her good intentions were coloured by … losing Philippa so young and maybe feeling she failed her, and maybe because she was so frightened at … three very passionate Warren witches and feeling she could not control it, so she …rationalised stopping her pain by binding your powers and mine into it” Paige reasoned.

“So, you’re telling me because I’m scared I should not stop Melinda using her powers.” Piper asked.

Paige took a deep breath “I think I’m telling you because you’re scared, you should not stop Melinda, or Mandy for that matter, learning when to use and when not to use her powers. And I think getting so frightened you turn into a ball of… pain, of fear about consequences, isn’t good for you. But” she smiled “Can’t stop Melinda being a passionate witch. Can’t stop you being you.”

“Locking her in the house could get her killed,” Paige suggested. “Piper, don’t you think I’m not terrified every time MY girls get involved with magic. I want to throw up with fear and they’re in their twenties. But they’re … just because they’re older doesn’t mean … you get less frightened. Maybe more.”.

“I think Piper.” Paige shrugged awkwardly “magic being what it is now. The times they are a changing and younger or older, our kids are going to get caught up in it. But maybe they need to know about magic and life, not be blocked from it. Prue and you and Phoebe got to do some things that were just life not magic. And no I’m not thanking Grams for that because I think that was just the times. Prue and I got our degrees. You got to be a chef, and we thank you every meal, and for the roof over our heads for P3.”

For Fern, the days after the battle at the university were a watershed, literally, because she could barely stop crying. She attended Mary’s funeral and it was as traumatic as she expected. There was palpable tension between the University representatives and those colleagues and family who blamed the institution for Mary’s death. Fern, knowing it was magic that caused her supervisor’s death, felt hugely guilty that she was responsible, and shrugged off, or turned her back on any attempts Paige made to talk to her afterwards. Almost a week later Paige, tried to talk to Fern and Leslie in what passed for a kitchen in ‘next door’, as they made a late supper.

“I said I was sorry about the demon fight” Fern snapped in response to Paige’s efforts “You didn’t want to listen then. I don’t want to talk now.”

“It wasn’t your fault” Paige tried to tell her. “Well, it was” she smiled kindly. “But Evil set you up.”

“So, you really think I’m to blame for that battle” Fern yelled and burst into tears.

Paige put her arm around Fern. “I think the battle would’ve happened whether it was you or anyone else who called it,” Paige told her reasonably. “And” she pointed out “As battles with Evil go, it wasn’t huge. Look at India” Paige pointed out. “Witches were lost in street battles by the sound of it.”

“You could have” Fern insisted “And it would have been my fault.” She sniffed and pulled away from Paige. “So, Mary just died for …nothing” and she ran from the room into the yard of ‘next door’, where slumping on the bench in the corner, she sobbed her heart out, hugging the two dogs that followed her.

Paige glanced at Leslie who was watching the whole conversation, a slightly fed-up expression on her face. “She’s taking Mary’s death harder than your mother’s death.” Paige commented reflectively.

Leslie nodded. “Mom’s wasn’t quite as unexpected” she replied. “Or as unnecessary. Mom and Dad had so many…discussions… full scale arguments about her witch work… usually Dad yelling how she would leave him and us alone… desert us. It was ... a self-fulfilling prophecy when it happened. Mary is a shock. Unexpected.” Leslie swallowed. “After Dad …deserted us, Fern has…had a lot of dreams around Mary being her mentor. Mary was someone. In Fern’s world anyway. And Fern wanted to be like her. Be someone I guess” said Fern’s big sister.

“I understand” Paige let out her breath “Fern thinks getting her doctorate makes her…someone whose parents did not desert her.”

“Doesn’t work that way” Fern’s older sister shrugged. “Getting my law degree and winning some cases, didn’t take away mom dying and Dad kicking me out. Still happened” she said wistfully.

Paige put her arm around Leslie. “I know. Finding adopted parents who loved me and sisters who loved me, couldn’t change that my birth parents didn’t want me.”

“More like couldn’t keep you” Leslie who had heard the story many times, interjected.

“My head knows that” Paige admitted “My heart and soul struggle with it. Always will I guess.”

“In a way” Paige admitted. “But perfect childhoods make for people who can’t handle …life. I’m very proud of the way you guys...handle life.”

“Only way to find out how you handle…life is to experience it” Paige nodded “And having parents or not having parents…both have their issues. I wouldn’t want Fern to not… experience…life.”

“Thanks. When Fern is feeling...better, I’ll explain about having and not having parents” She laughed “You haven’t met Cole’s demon mother. Ask Phoebe. She can tell you there’s a lot to be said for not having parents around.”

Fern watching Paige and her sister having a cosy chat that seemed to exclude her, stood in the yard still sobbing, lost and isolated. She turned around three times not knowing where to run to, before wiping her eyes with her sleeve and then determinedly going into the Manor. She stalked into the conservatory and then into the kitchen. It was empty, so with a big sniff, Fern went to the wine cabinet and opened the door, standing with it half ajar as she surveyed the contents, something that usually sent Piper spare.

She was angry as anyone could be at Piper, so Fern did not care, which even in her pain she realised was irrational. Nevertheless, somewhere inside her she believed that if Piper has somehow let her say ‘I’m sorry’ it would have taken away the terrible agony that was caused by a bitter combination of loss of her dreams, mourning, anger at herself, failure, and fear at what her rashness could have cost her sisters and family. If only Piper had given her absolution the pain would be bearable, so in her head she believed Piper was responsible for her agony, even though Fern’s soul knew better. That Phoebe had also shut her down during the emergency she ignored.

Because Fern was so angry at Piper, she selected, the best bottle of red she could see, considered how disgusted Piper would be if she just chugged it down without a glass, then remembered her mother Jade had raised her better, at least until she was fifteen. Therefore, she opened the glasses cupboard. She put her hands on some of Grams antiques glasses then deliberately selected a couple of fairly cheap wine glasses because the idea was forming in her head to go into the yard, drink the wine and then pitch the glasses as hard as she could. And mad as she was with Piper, Fern was still respected the Halliwell family heritage because she respected them.

As Fern stepped away from the wine glass cupboard, her glasses fell off her nose and she slammed the wine glasses down to feel around to retrieve them. When she stood up again, she realised Piper was at the hallway doorway, watching her with a peeved expression.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” Piper asked indicating the wine bottle.

“Fern don’t be stupid” Piper snapped. “You don’t owe anything and you know it.”

“Of course, I do” Fern shouted. “And you find ways to remind me. Don’t you?” she demanded “Don’t you?”

“Of course, I’m stupid, you just have to say it. Don’t you, don’t you. Makes you feel so good taking in the orphans” Fern yelled “Earned you place in the higher ups of ‘up there’.” she sobbed loudly. “I’m sick of being reminded what I owe you and your damned family.”

Piper sighed deeply, “No one else in this damned family thinks you owe anything. Look I know you are hurting about Mary dying… so uselessly… but stop trying to hurt people who love you to make it go away” she stated in a matter-of-fact voice.

All Fern’s unreasonable anger at Piper welled up “You don’t love me, and you don’t own me, so I don’t have to do anything you say. You’re not my mother or my boss or my whitelighter.” she sobbed “I’m just something the noble Charmed Ones took in to show how perfect you are. I hate how perfect you are” she screamed “Piper Halliwell” she continued “Witch extraordinaire. Legendary Charmed One. Business woman extraordinaire. Just looks at something and makes money out of it. But I’ll tell you something” she yelled “Something perfect Piper Halliwell doesn’t have, not like Paige and Phoebe. She doesn’t have a heart. Ask her for money fine, she can just hand it over, ask her for sympathy, compassion, for forgiveness. Ha. It isn’t there.” Fern yelled even louder. “Just ask Melinda, the way you treat her.”

Fern looked around. She found the glasses, and her spectacles, grabbed the wine bottle and fled toward the hall, only just noticing that Leo who had heard the yelling, had come into the kitchen, and was watching her intently. Fern pushed past him and ran toward the conservatory.

Piper looked up to Leo, a faint smile on her mouth. He crossed the kitchen and put his arms around her. “Tough being the heart of the family?” he asked Piper. “Maybe I better stop her drinking all that wine” he suggested.

“Hangover will do her good” Piper answered maliciously “No Leo, it’s not fun being the heart of the family. Especially when someone in the family uses family truths to hurt you as hard as they can. That bit about Melinda hurt” Piper sniffed, a tear forming in her eye.

“Melinda has two aunts, Unca Cole and three foster sisters to comfort her, make her feel good.” Leo spoke carefully “She doesn’t need a mother to do it. She needs a mother to help her face reality. She has you. She just doesn’t like the truth. Blames you for it.” He shrugged “Still pretty unforgiveable to say it though. Fern too.”

“Isn’t it lucky I’ve had three sisters who have taught me about the truth and being blamed” Piper said. “Maybe I should have let Mark bleed to death and given Fern absolution the other night.”.

“What good would that have done?” Leo asked practically. “Just make Paige hate you. Fern is kind of smart you know” he mused.

“Sooner or later, that had to come out with at least one of the girls, even if it was unforgiveable” Leo responded “She was just smart enough to pick the sister who between Cole, Phoebe, Paige and Prue, really understands how to keep the family together after someone does or says the unforgivable. Heart of the family.” Leo smiled whimsically.

“Yeah” murmured Piper leaning against his shoulder “Well, I wouldn’t complain if Phoebe got to be the heart of the family every so often.”

“Phoebe couldn’t do it like you” Leo pulled Piper’s head closer against his shoulder and kissed her hair as he stroked it.