"Make yourself at home here "Cole said, putting his son down as Patsy struggled again, while Leo made a dive for Wyatt who must have felt he was being ignored long enough because he opened his mouth ready for a super loud WAHHHH. Melinda frowned at her brother then once again concentrated on her doll, and upped the level of her mutterings.

"I have no understanding of the concept of home" Glock told them watching the children.

Francesca nodded "Then  perhaps while you are here, there are things to learn, as Cole learnt things from you in Burvjara.  Experience can lead to great wisdom" she added sagely and spoiled the effect by letting her attention wander to the bodice ripper novel while Cole frowned."

"At least I will meet this mate of whom you talk" Glock said.

"She may be late coming home" Cole said. "gets held up at work if she has to go to some function."

"You do not know where your mate is?" Glock asked.

 "She's okay "Cole said unconcerned "working."

"Your mate works away from you "Glock asked curious.

'"Here things are .. different " Cole said noticing Francesca had walked over to the bookcase ands was browsing Phoebe book collection, the ones with all the most outrageous sex titles.

"What is wrong with this house? "Francesca demanded as she read the blurbs on the books.

"Nothing ": Leo said "it just the normal magic nexus."

"There is some very bad magic around this house, " Francesca insisted "Something very disturbing" and to Leo and Cole's shock Francesca giggled "very disturbing" she said.

"There's nothing wrong " Leo  insisted.

"Don't you think I would know?" said Cole while Glock's trunk twitched. They heard the front door bang "some-one is home" Cole said

Glock, frowned then perhaps testing Cole's assurances of his family's reaction, walked out of the conservatory to the hall before he could be stopped. Leo and Cole exchanged glances and then ran to follow him as they heard Piper's shrill scream and the sound of something hitting the floor and broken glass.

In the hallway a very disturbed Glock was backed against the archway as Piper, leaving to bags of shopping dropped on the floor with something from a broken jar spilling over it, screeched hysterically, threw herself against him, reaching up to touch his face ,his nose with one hand, the other planted against his chest.

"OMG" Piper  screeched, hysterical tears  pouring down her face "OMG I have dreamed ..OMG.. god this is. I can not believe" she screeched.

Leo, Wyatt in his arms, watched as Melinda and Patsy ran past and gaped as panting and gasping for breath Piper clawed at Glock's clothes, his face. his body, panting so much saliva was dripping down him.

A stunned Glock was clearly uncertain what he should do. 

"OMG" said Leo furiously dumping Wyatt on Cole.

"OMG "Piper screamed and half whispered it again as Glock tried to pull away and she clutched his robe.

"OMG "said Cole.

"There is something very wrong with this house" Francesca told Cole standing to one side. She had three of Phoebe's books clutched in her hand. "I will leave you fix it" she said and clutching the books orbed.

"OMG" said Cole

Leo caught Piper and puller her screaming and panting and drooling off Glock who was backed against a corner looking around, uncertain where or how to run, flushed deep dark orange .

"My sister in law "Cole explained "clan. Married to Leo."

Piper struggled to get free kicking struggling. She gasped and panting struggled to get her breath until she whispered OMG, then clutched her heart and fainted in Leo's hold.

"O.M.G"  said Leo furiously.

"Lord "said Cole "You know that was weird," he added "even for Piper"

"She's obsessed with…" Leo said snarky with Piper. He glanced toward Glock. "With different people" he finished.

"Its still pretty weird" said Cole turning up his bottom lip. He turned to Glock. "I'm sorry" he said. "Piper's normally the sensible one. When she wakes up, I hope to god whatever the hell is wrong with her isn't."

 Leo snorted while Glock tried to look gracious and succeeded in looking disbelieving.

Cole bit his lip "If you want to freshen up, bath maybe while you can, while you have the chance. I can show you to your room."

"Room," said Glock looking around at the hall parlour and dining room, "My room."

"It's our custom to sleep privately," Leo explained.

Glock nodded his orange trunk like nose twitching.

Patsy choose that moment to start hitting his drum as hard as he could. 

"Patsy's only 16 months" Cole explained as Patsy banged away as loud as he could then lifted his hand to levitate two toy trains together in a satisfactory crash." He's exploring his magic" Cole excused.

"Precocious" said Glock. "Many toys" he added.

"He just got the magic a few months… cycles ago and is feeling his way, it's all a big adventure" Cole defended as Patsy crashed an unbreakable toy car into the trains and more plastic splintered.

"Many toys" said Glock

'"They like noise at that age" explained Leo.

"Yes "said Glock shaking his head his eyes narrowing. Then he smiled   "forgive me." he added humbly "I live in a place where noise is something to be feared. An offspring who enjoys noise is. ..alien to me."

"Patsy keep it quiet" Cole yelled.

"Dada" said Pasty and hit the drum harder,  to a beat that he alone understood.

"He is learning" Cole told Glock. "Does not always understand?"

"He understands he can ignore you" Leo told Cole. He looked around. "Melinda "he said  "Hell."

"What "said Cole "where is she?"

"Melinda "Leo roared,.

They all heard a clinking noise form the kitchen.

"I can't leave Piper" Leo insisted.

"She's only fainted" said Cole irritated. "Sorry Glock about that," Cole repeated.

"You must read too many of Phoebe's books" Leo said. "They only wake up gracefully in those. In reality the wake up and throw up. "Get to Melinda Cole" he ordered.

"Okay" said Cole thinking Leo was fussing. He went into the kitchen. Glock watched him go and then followed, clomping his hopnail boots on the varnished floor.

Melinda was in the kitchen levitating herself up to the top cupboard where she was pulling cooking chocolate from Piper's supply and stuffing it into her mouth. She had chocolate down her front over her face and hands.

"Greedy" said Glock.

"She's three" Cole defended again "the family all the w… females have a chocolate gene. Never know when enough is enough."

"Chocolate" said Glock.

"It’s a sort of sweet" Cole explained." It's… a treat.  Females like it ."he explained awkwardly "you give it to them when you're courting.  Its sort of addictive, most of them can't say no to it."

"Ahhh" said Glock "A treat, "

"Melinda get down from there" Cole told her as she stuffed more chocolate in her mouth.

"No Unca Cole "she said reaching higher.

"Melinda" Cole sighed. He reached up and grabbed her and after a short tussle  he hauled her down.

She started screaming loudly and telling him in no uncertain terms that he was a mean Unca Cole and he didn't love her.

 "You're going to make yourself sick" "Cole told her and she stuck out a chocolaty tongue at him, then tried to strike at him with her fist.

"Precocious" said Glock

Cole sucked his lip. "She knows what she wants "he said  "like all the witches in this family."

Cole carried Melinda screaming back to the living room where Piper was still unconscious on the sofa.

"Is the female well?" Glock asked Leo quite concerned "I feel responsible. Is this lack of consciousness dangerous?"

"You aren't responsible, she is" Leo told Glock unsympathetically.  "She's okay. I was a medic" he added glaring at Piper's prostrate form.

"Come upstairs and I will get you settled" Cole told Glock as he dumped Melinda at her father.

Leo looked at her chocolate covered hands face and clothes.

"Chocolate again" said Leo "that's weird, even for the Halliwell chocolate gene."

"I guess" said Cole.

"Yeah" said Leo

"Keep an eye on Patsy" Cole told Leo. "Where is Patsy "he said looking around

"It is quiet" said Glock

Leo glanced around "Hell" he said.

"Why?" said Cole suspicious

"He's been levitating himself up and down stairs all day" Leo  explained

Wordlessly Cole turned and strode upstairs two steps at a time. Glock hesitated, and then followed, his boots clumping and scratching on the floor. Leo winced and glanced at Piper's prostrate form

"Two levels" Glock said as he reached the upstairs landing and looked around at the polished floors, 8 doors, 10 if you counted the closets , antique hall stand and coloured glass windows.

"Four "said Cole without thinking.  "Attic and basement."

"How many in your clan?" asked Glock, taking in the size of the house.

"Um eight * said Cole uncomfortable when he thought of Burvjarians huddled in front of magic heated stones, sheltering behind rocks and  hiding and sleeping on bare earth.

"2 to a level " said Glock following him.

"It doesn't work like that" Cole answered  awkwardly

In the attic Patsy all on his own, enjoying solitude and his independence, away from interfering parents  was sitting in the middle of the traffic jam he had created that afternoon. He hadh every toy train, car, doll, block  he could get to the attic spread across the floor in the sort of odd pattern that he liked to create.  It  always scared the hell out of his parents, where the ideas  came from and what was going in his head to design them.

Glock looked at the traffic jam which covered a large part of the attic floor.

"Just toys" Cole explained as he saw Glock's expression

"Very many toys" said Glock standing in the doorway in his war ravaged robes.

"They're not all his," Cole aid defensively scooping Patsy up and grabbing 3 favourites, 2 cars and the fluffy duck of the moment.

"No?" said Glock clearly mentally counting the toys.

"Patsy's collected everything in the house  he likes" Cole defended once again "He likes making patterns and they get complicated so he needs lots of things . A lot of stuff, his aunts like to buy him stuff. We have relatives with kids who are older. They pass their kids' finished stuff on."

"Yes" said Glock

"He has a grandfather "Cole added uncomfortably as he thought of one of Glock's clan, a young boy, playing with rocks and his surprise that in all the ravages of war an offspring found the time and the need to play.

"Your offspring make toys and play "Cole said defensively.

"Not so many toys" said Glock.

"My children have many toys" agreed Cole conceding "It makes me…. us happy to be able to give them things and watch them play."

"That is good" said Glock his orange trunk like nose wrinkling.

With Patsy yelling to get back down to his game, and Cole ignoring the noise Cole showed Glock,  the guest room. Glock who Cole realised had probably not slept in a bed of any description more than a few times in his life if that, nodded as he looked at the room, which Piper had added Grams special comforter set, lace curtains and  Great Aunt Jemima's rugs , and had squeezed  much of the antique furniture that had been stored in the room that was now the boy's room. The room had a crowded, mismatched antique look to it that the family had agreed was very inviting.

"It is well furnished" said Glock

"Family heirlooms'" explained Cole awkwardly. "The girl's family is an old one. I don't have any. Heirlooms, family heirlooms I mean. The girl's family have had this place since the earthquake and before that they came from the east and brought a lot of stuff with them, in a  covered wagon.  My family, I just have a mausoleum "

Glock eyed Cole curiously, his orange face inscrutable. He went over and tested the bed "Very soft" he said "Earthquake?" he asked

"History" Cole explained. He touched the bed. "Its not made up" he said.

Glock looked at him quizzically.

"Sheets and pillow cases, for under the comforter" Cole explained. "The thing on top.'"

"Very soft" said Glock.

"Bathroom is the door opposite " Cole told him "I'll show you and get some towels and sheets for the bed." Then he hesitated awkwardly.

"Yes my friend" said Glock reading his discomfort.

"I"  said Cole.

"Yes my friend" said Glock.

"I can get you a change of clothes" Cole said wincing.

"It is not our way to have many clothes" Glock said getting a stubborn expression.

"It is our way" Cole told him "I respect your ways when I am in your realm." He added

"You had a choice" Glock pointed out his trunk like nose twitching.

"Your clothes need washing and repairing, and it’s a good chance, one of the girls, women, would say it, or offer not very tactfully to clean them or… I thought it better if I do" Cole told Glock. Glock's trunk like nose darkened and twitched.

"Women get a bit ..snippy about things" he said. "Like clean clothes."

"Snippy" said Glock.

"Upset" Cole said.

"And you would rather upset me than them" asked Glock.

"Yes" said Cole "and " he added figuring he may as well risk it all "It’s the boots" he said '"the nails leave marks on the varnished floors and Piper, the one who fainted, gets nasty when her floor is wrecked"

Glock stared at him.

"I can fix it with magic" Cole told Glock "but she bitches at me that I don't fix it right."

Glock took a deep breath and shook his head. . He looked at Cole "I have upset the female enough."

Then he slowly sat on the bed and did what very few Burvjarians would have done. He removed the boots that in his land were the difference between life and death

"I think she upset herself" Cole replied embarrassed.

Cole, went into Piper and Leo's room and pulled out Leo's baggiest jeans from the closet and pinched a  new set of boxer shorts Piper had bought last week from the chest of drawers as well as one of Leo's looser t shirts and flannel shirts and socks and then looking at his own feet size and comparing them to Glock's, Cole pinched Leo's  second best sneakers.

Glock was still sitting ion the spare room bed, staring at his boots contemplatively. Cole handed the clothes to Glock, who eyed them uncomfortably

"These are yours?" he asked.

"Leo's" said Cole ."They're not his  best ones" Cole explained.

"He has many garments? " asked Glock.  He eyed Cole' shredded clothing "as do you."

Cole thought of the Burvjarians huddled in their robes, wearing all their possessions. "We live differently "he explained.

Glock hesitating about taking the clothes,"Your clansman will not mind your confiscation of his belongings." Glock asked concerned. "He did not approve of you using his clothing."

"That's different" Cole answered "that was just bitching at me. Leo is an angel. He is very generous, just with me he gets…"

"Snippy" said Glock

Cole grinned "Yes" he said.

After giving the clothes to Glock, Cole went to the hall closet and then pulled 3 towels  and sheets and pillow cases from the linen closet. Glock standing behind him peered over his shoulder at the neat and full closet.

"The girls family" Cole explained "Collected stuff, never throw anything out they're like that" he said

Then he remembered. He went to the top of the stairs and yelled "Leo is the bathroom fixed"

"No" Leo yelled  back ."I need to replace all the old pipes, and don't do anything about it "he ordered. "any pressure and will blow it."

"Bathroom's not working" Cole explained to Glock awkwardly.

"Really" said Glock "Unfortunate"

"You can use the shower  in my room." Cole said apprehensively.

"Shower?" said Glock

Cole explained, "A bath "said Cole "Sort of bath except the water runs over you, instead of soaking in it. Its easier."

Glock shook his head. "You can afford this?" he asked. 

Cole swallowed as he remembered combatants using cup full of water in small metallic plate to wash, and describing it as a luxury.

He stopped. 'I'm sorry " he said uncomfortable with the life he treasured, feeling as if it was a excessive  "Its not a s good as it seems,." He said "The house.  Its on magic nexus. It keeps getting attacked" he said "By demons, and warlock and they all blowing up the place, pulling it pieces.  It costs a fortune all of us working to keep it. Its not a soft as you think" he said awkwardly.

"It’s a lesson "said Glock amused, "to see how the other realms live."

"We aren't as different, as …spoilt as you think' Cole said awkwardly. Then he shook his head. "you are right to think we live soft," he said.

"Do not presume for how I think" smiled Glock his orange trunk like nose twitching as he apparently conceded to the humour of Cole's discomfort.

Cole opened the door to his and Phoebe's bedroom and even Patsy stopped screaming as the smell from Melinda's chocolate attack hit them.

"OMG" said Cole.

 He went in and saw the mess over the floor and the bed. He went into he ensuite and stopped. He hastily backed  pulled out shutting the door very hard.

Glock stood behind Cole taking in the room. Glock 's orange trunk like nose crinkled.

"Curious" he said.

"You can use my sister in law's shower" Cole said hastily.

 "You have 3 washrooms" said Glock. " It seems excessive" he said quietly "I suppose I can understand when none can be used successfully.

"There are 5 adults and 3 kids living  here" Cole tried to explain as Glock politely nodded "We have 4 bathrooms" He conceded "one downstairs but we only use it for visitors" he said as Glock nodded "two up here only have showers in them" he told Glock as if that made it seem less excessive.

"Really" said Glock

Cle shrugged. "It's  not as soft as it looks" he said "Honest"

"I believe you my friend" Glock answered but Cole could feel the cynical amusement biting out of his aura without even trying to touch it.

"You can shower in here" Cole told Clock and so distracted seeing the way they lived through Glock's eyes he only became aware of the unusual giggling coming from Paige's room as he opened the door.

He stopped and gulped as he was confronted with the screeching giggles. Paige was rolling around on her bed, holding up pictures of naked men sighing and sucking her breath. The floor was covered with pictures of naked men, ripped from magazine. Three in particular struck him as rather odd, in shape and proportion.

Cole gulped  "Paige, you're all right" he asked flushing with embarrassment.

"Get the hell out of here" Paige roared

Cole even more embarrassed backed out,  while Glock peered over his shoulder, then Cole stopped  " You are okay . I mean" he asked Paige concerned.

"Get the fuck out of here." Paige screamed as Cole uncomfortably realised what the three pictures on the floor were, backed out in a  hurry. "And shut the fucking door." Paige roared.

Cole slammed the door , just shutting it as Paige orbed a book at him. "That's weird "he said.

"Is that why you sleep in private rooms" Glock asked.

"One of the reasons" Cole replied flushing scarlet.

"Maybe you better use the downstairs bathroom" Cole told Glock.

"I do not wish to be an inconvenience "Glock told Cole clearly uncomfortable. "Your assurances that your ..clan will accept me, I find ..dubious."

"It isn't you "Cole explained. "My family is being….weird" he said "The women "… females are.

"What of your mate" Glock asked.

"She isn't here" Cole said grimly. Wondering.

Glock jumped as two ginger streaks ran across in front of them "Vermin?

"Cats "said Cole

Glock looked at him

"Pets" said Cole "Companion animals"

 "That is good" said Glock

"I'll take you downstairs to the bathroom"  Cole  told Glock shrivelling with embarrassment.

As they went downstairs Glock told Cole "I was thinking "

"Yes" said Cole dreading this.

"The images your sister was looking at"  Glock said.

"Yes" said Cole.

"We aren't that different " said Glock.

....................................................................